Sunday, August 16, 2009
I am Joshua. I am chasing a dream.
My music is very much a reflection of me. After two years of off and on recording, I found myself stuck as an artist and also stuck as a person. I went through ups and downs the last couple years: from me and my mom were alienated by our family to my mom going to jail and me having to bail her out to having nowhere to stay and sleeping on my best friends floor for two months to me and my mom being homeless.
The content of my music started to change. When I wrote, I was angry. It became less about the music and more about me being selfish. I cursed excessively and used many vulgar and derogatory words. I saw myself falling into that hole as an artist… trying to find a hot beat to get the song played on the radio. My music went from creative to just being simple and plain.
Recently I took a good independent approach and purchased my first computer and keyboard. Now I can record myself. But still, when I wrote my music I was constantly trying to find my niche as an artist. I recorded a mixtape which was an elevator of self I can say. I found myself being a provocateur on one song, a street cat on another, and a misogynistic male on others. I was pleased with the mixtape and displeased at the same time.
My main goal was to let my good friend Carlton Mackey hear my new mixtape because I knew he would hold no bars and elaborate in depth about my music. Carlton did like several songs, but in our conversation he reminded me what I stood for and how much of an “Artist” I was on my previous work -not just a rapper. I sat there and thought after our conversation and how I was really tripping. I thought about how much I wanted to touch people through my music. I thought about how much I wanted to be a leader like a Tupac Shakur or be as lyrically creative as a Nas or AZ or become Innovative as a Andre 3000 of Outkast. Me literaly waking up as a artist and a person began with that conversation. I wanted to be an ARTIST.
I thanked God for everyone in my life that I’m close to and told him my plans. I closed my eyes and said: “LET’S GET IT!!”
Watch Pavement Dreams: Music Written and Performed by Joshua, Video by visionphilms